What to do?

I obviously have very little to say about running these days and the little bit I do have, I post on the dailymile website. Still for some reason I feel and obligation to keep this blog afloat. Like if I stop it once and for all I've given up. But in the end it's just a blog and a blog I have very little interest in at that.

So although I am still (trying to keep) running and posting thoughts about that on dailymile.com/Facebook, I think this blog is going to be discontinued. I don't know whether I will delete it completely or just let it sit out here abandoned. Either way, this appears to be my last post, my friends. Thank you for all your encouraging words and following me as I struggle with the conflict of how much I think I want to be a runner and how much I really do want to be a runner.

Peace out.

Three Days This Week

I'm on a roll. I ran 1.5 miles on Monday, 1.5 miles on Thursday and then today did 3 miles on the elliptical and 10 miles on the bike. One day at a time. I'm still waiting for the new fuse for the treadmill that we ordered earlier this week to come in so I'm going to the gym to get my workouts in. So far it's working.

I have a friend who lives about an hour or so away, whom I've never met in real life, but we've visited through blogs, Facebook and running sites for a year or so now. She is a very inspiring, motivational, dedicated runner and I've been borrowing some of her enthusiasm to get me going.

This poor, pathetic, unused blog

I hadn't run since July. What's new? The only time I ever come blog here is to say that I haven't run in 6 months--twice a year.

I have been meaning to get going again for several months but life gets in the way. Yada, yada, yada. I am using the new year resolution excuse to try again. I did run on Monday for 1.5 miles. I was planning on running a minimum of two with the possibility of three, but I had to force my body to make it to 1.5 and it wasn't good. I thought I was starting slowly, but I guess I need to start more slowly. On one hand I was so happy that I finally got a run in but very frustrated that it gets so much harder for me all the time. I ran a half marathon not that long ago--holy buckets, four years ago!

My inlaws gave us their treadmill on Monday but it was blowing the breaker in our house every time we plugged it in. Hubby took the fuse out and we had to order a new one. That will make it easier to get my runs in since time is my biggest enemy.

I think the C25K program is a great program and have recommended it to many people who are just getting started. I have had to accept the fact that I am not and have not been running for a long time and am therefore a beginner as well. The C25K program is not beneath me and I am going to be starting it next week so that I can run the Dublin Dash as my reward race on St. Patty's Day. If nothing else I hope it will be a confidence booster.

This is the year. I am going to do the Deadwood-Mickelson Trail Marathon. The full marathon, not the half again. Who knows, I may hate that distance and never do it again, but it needs to be done at least once. The desire isn't dying and I don't think it will until I get it out of my system.

I just created a page on the Daily Mile website....be my friend if you're so inclined.

I ran, I ran, I ran!!!

My leg is fixed. I had an appointment scheduled for last Friday, but I never made it in because the mom of the girl at whose house my six year spent the night called to say she had something come up and needed me to get my daughter right then. I was just pulling in the parking lot for my appointment and had to turn right back around. It wasn't a big deal though because my leg had been fixed for about a week and a half at that point anyway.

I have a good friend who does massage and Reiki who did some stuff to my leg--something about deep bruise needing to dissipate into the lymph nodes in my knee. Anyway she made me squirm pretty bad while she worked on it and it felt better instantly, but I wasn't ready to let out a sigh of relief just yet. I figured the pain would come back the next morning or in two days or who knows when, but it would come back.

It was two weeks later, this past Monday, when I needed to go to the ATM across the street and on the other side of a parking lot from the ice cream shop we were waiting in line at and I realized they only take cash which I had none of. The line was long and I didn't want to get out so I had my kids wait with my friends while I ran to the ATM. It was the first time I'd used my legs to run in so long and I was scared it would hurt. I got back in line and waited to see...

...it didn't hurt. I couldn't run four steps before my friend did her magic and now I ran a quarter of a mile with no problem. Not only that it felt soooo good to run. I wanted to keep going.

The next morning I ran 3.1 and this morning I ran 3 miles. Still no pain plus I feel very light and springy while running. I did a lot of strength training along with cardio on the bike or elliptical and I think it really made a difference. I feel much stronger when running than I have...maybe ever. I will definitely keep up the cross training now rather than only run. It's night and day.

Maybe that was the lesson in all of this.

I'm working out, just not running

Oh, this blog and I. We have such a strange relationship. It's hard to blog about running when you're not running. I've been doing a lot of strength training, rollerblading and hiking, but I can't really record stats about that here nor do I care to.

Yesterday I made a connection as to what might be the problem with my legs. One leg I think was just strained or something because the pain is gone now--even when I use it. The other however is getting worse. I jogged about four steps from Blockbuster to my car the other day because it was raining and my leg throbbed for hours afterward. I was talking to my friend about it and as I was talking my apparently sometimes slow brain had an aha moment.

Many weeks ago,somewhere in the 4-6 range, I opened the back of my SUV and a post-hole digger started to slide out. I grabbed my daughter to pull her out of the way and the digger hit my ankle. I felt a tremendous force when it hit, but I really didn't think a whole lot of it. I limped around that evening and I had a pretty bruise around two cuts on my ankle, but cuts and bruises go away quickly with little fanfare. Hindsight is great, because now it's a big fat duh. That's when I started having problems with my leg and the pain is in the ankle where I got hit as well as on the other side where I felt the initial force from the hit.

I am going to make an appointment to be seen because I still haven't even though I said I was going to awhile ago. I don't think I really believed there was anything a doctor could tell me before, but now I'm sure about the cause. I just hope it isn't something too bad.

This is not good.

I had not ran since last Monday. I was resting by doing strength training and stretching as well as riding the bike and rollerblading until today. I was going to run three miles today and hope that my legs felt better. I made it .5 miles and I had to stop. I wanted to actually cry. The pain hit me in waves for many hours after. It reminded me of labor contractions--I would be sitting there and then get hit by a pain that would roll through for about 15 seconds and then go away for 30 seconds. It's very weird and discouraging.

I am going to make an appointment to see a doctor and in the meantime I will do the bike, elliptical and strength training. I hope it's not serious.

Trying to figure it out

I ran on Tuesday. I ran two miles and I tried two things hoping they would help the pains I'm having in my legs. I used new shoes. Shoes I've had for over a year, but they only have 12 miles on them. I also watched myself in the mirror on the treadmill. I noticed how I seem to shuffle my feet rather than pick them up. I think it's more of a problem with the treadmill than the real world, so maybe I need to quit being a sissy and get outside again. The thought really scares me for some reason. A year ago I loved running outside and was afraid of the treadmill. So anyway, I backed myself up on the treadmill rather than being squished up against the front and lifted my knees higher as I ran. I felt like I was doing a really exaggerated motion, but looking the mirror I just looked like I was running. The two miles went great and I was feeling no pain in my legs. I thought I had figured it out, but then when my two miles were up and I started walking my cool down, the pains came back.

I still think both these things might help after a while. So I took a break on Wednesday and Thursday. I did 18 miles on the bike today because it doesn't bother my legs at all and it feels more productive than the elliptical. I will probably do more bike tomorrow and/or Sunday, strength building on Monday and run again on Tuesday. I hope it works.

Oh my aching legs.

I'm into week 5 of my comeback and I've had a pain in one of my legs the whole time. It started out as a little bitty pain that I mostly ignored. My husband suggested that I push through it and it would go away because it's just my body adjusting. I've continued to push through and it continues to get worse. Plus now it's spread to my other leg. It hurts all the time, not just when I've finished a run and oddly enough it hurts the least when I'm in the middle of running. Both pains are on in the side/fronts of my lower leg--I wouldn't call it my calf because that is the back of my lower leg only, right? I wouldn't say it's my shin either.


I biked today and then ran 1 mile instead of running only. I was trying to not yell out as I was driving home. I don't think it's anything serious that I should be worried about, but it's really annoying and if it continues to get worse, I may have to learn how to swim better.

America's Kids Run

I'm still keeping up with the running...I'm starting my 4th week back right now. I had thought about running in a 5K yesterday but there is another race this coming weekend that I think we will all do instead. It's a kids run out at the Air Force base and it's free, so that's a better deal! They are having a half mile run for my 6 year old and a two mile run for my nine year old. My son, who will be four on Sunday, is a little peeved that they don't have a race for him, but I'm thinking he'll run with my six year old anyway. They can both run a full mile easily, so this half mile thing will be no big deal. The two miles for my oldest is another story. She's never run that far and we'll have to see how that goes. :) I guess there is a 5K after the kid races for the adults that I may run.

Slow But Good

I have two weeks under my belt of being back in the saddle of running. I'm taking it very slow--not only in pace but in how fast I move up my mileage. I have always wanted to progress very quickly and that's why I have always fizzled out somewhere along the way in the past.

I only allowed myself to run 2 miles each of the four days I ran last week. That is actually very hard for me to do. I backed off after the first week back when I ran a total of 12 miles. I know that it's how I need to do it though and I feel confident that it will make a big difference in sustaining the running habit.

Resurrection?

I've been thinking about this blog lately. I'm hesitant to post anything on it again because I don't know if I'm committed to it at this moment. BUT...it keeps popping into my mind, so here I am.

I hadn't run for real since July. I kept trying off and on and then I switched to the elliptical because it's easier. It must be the time of year because the urge to run has hit me again, just like it has done this time of year for the past three or four years. If only I could sustain the urge after a few months pass.

I've put on 25 pounds since I stopped running regularly and I get older every day (really?). It's physically harder for me to get back into it every time I take a "break".

I have run on eight of the past 11 days which is pretty incredible when I didn't make conscious decision to run again. I'm running at a much slower pace right now than I ever have before, but I'm not getting frustrated--I'm just happy to be out there moving along however slow it may be.

I'm not going to make any premature announcements about races I plan to run in or miles per week I intend to fit in...I'm going to just keep running and see where I go.

Blog Hiatus

Well folks, I've decided this blog is going to take a nap for awhile. I have three blogs and right now this one is the one that is more work than fun to keep up with. I haven't even blogged about my last few workouts (although they are going well) because I'm just not into keeping up this separate blog.

I will leave it up--I own the domain--so that I can come back and pick it up at a later time. For now I will be using my regular blog to post about running amongst all the other things I post about. It just seems silly right now to keep them segregated.

I still read all the running blogs I always have and I'm still trying to become a real runner, it's only this blog that will be resting...

Thanks :)

After my whiny post this morning I had two comments that made me feel better. I wasn't looking to feel better and frankly didn't think anything could make me feel better other than more hours in the day, so I was surprised.

I went to the gym tonight and ran two miles. I ran it strong and solid. I feel good about it.

Frustration

I'm really struggling to find the time to get exercise of any kind in right now. I'm gaining weight which should motivate me to make time, but instead it leaves me more frustrated and pouty. I keep trying to be positive and tell myself that I'll get it together, but this positive thinking has been going on for months and I'm not figuring it out.

My alarm goes off at 5am every morning so that I can get up and either run or do yoga, but every morning at 5am I shut the alarm off because I'm just too tired. I don't even try hitting snooze anymore.

I don't know how to make myself put running on the top of my priorities list.

Last night the whole family went to the gym. Dave ran on the track while I stayed in the family exercise room which was totally crowded because of the weather. The only piece of equipment free was the elliptical which I did for 30 minutes. Seeing as how I'm being in a pouty frame of mind, though, I was irritated that I didn't get a treadmill and didn't run, so instead of feeling good that I got out and did 30 minutes of exercise I'm grumpy that I didn't do the exercise I wanted to do.

Sigh. I'm being a big baby and I know it, but knowing it doesn't make me change it.

Ugghh....

Yoga

I have wanted to do Yoga for a really long time. I know we have some really great studios here in Rapid City, but I've just never been able to make it to the times or afford it. I had never even tried it once, I just knew it's something that I would love.

The last time we were at the library the kids and I found a DVD of Yoga for Kids. We borrowed and tried it out the other day. It's actually very cool and all four of us have had a good time doing it all together. I also have a grown up video that I have been doing by myself in the mornings.

It isn't my ideal way to do Yoga--I would much rather be in a studio with a Yogi (that's what they're called, right?), but I'll take what I can get right now.

I really enjoy every part of what I have been doing at home and it sort of makes up for the fact that my crazy life that hasn't allowed me to run in two or three weeks.

I ran, but it wasn't easy

I went to the gym tonight after two days off. I was going to run 3 miles tonight but my legs were hurting and so I only ran two. When I hit the first .75, I began having a debate in my head--a debate that continued until about two minutes ago. Should I suck it up and push through or back off so that I don't hurt myself or get fed up mentally? It was a real struggle for me. In the end I ran to the two mile mark thinking that I need to build back slowly. Since July I have not run more than five miles in a week with many weeks of not running at all. I've got to get my head wrapped around the idea that getting back in gradually is the smart thing to do not the weak thing.

Virtual Run Across America

I've been following a new blog for the last week or so. It's called Virtual Run Across America and the idea--as the name suggests--is to have runners all over the country (world?) run (virtually, duh) from East to West.

I'm not totally sure how it's going to work and I have a bad habit of signing up to do things (World Wide Half) and then fizzling out before I get there, but I do want to participate in this one. It's a fun idea and I'm all for running with people that I don't actually run with...since I am the kind of person who would rather not have a running partner and all that...

Painful three miles

I ran on the treadmill again tonight, but it was hard and it hurt and I was really glad when it was over. I think I'll have to take a break tomorrow.

I'm really glad to feel like I'm running un-sporadically again.

Still on a roll...

Dave and I met up with his cousin, Megan and her husband, Mike, to participate in the Turkey Trot here in Rapid City on Thursday morning. It's one of the Black Hills Runners Club's biggest fun runs--this year had 880 people. There are no official times or divisions, but everyone registered in the race has a chance to win one of a few hundred pies. The last time we did this race, four out of the five of us there won a pie. This year three of us won one. I ran it in about 30 minutes (I forgot my own watch and their clock said 31:09 when I came in). It could have been worse, but hopefully I can make the habit stick and next time I'll get a PR or something.

I went back to the base this afternoon and ran four miles on the treadmill. I only planned on running three. It's really weird how that is working lately--running more than I had planned. It feels great, though, whatever the reason.

Elliptical instead of treadmill

I went to the gym this afternoon and decided to just do the elliptical instead of the treadmill. I'm a tiny bit sore from my previous two days of running and since the Turkey Trot is tomorrow, I took it easy today. Worked the muscles differently. Quick and easy--in and out.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Make that two in a row!

I ran again tonight. I did 3.1 miles tonight--practicing for the Turkey Trot 5K in two days. I've been running at a really slow pace...like 10:30-11:00, but I'm comfortable and feeling good about it, so that's what matters.

I think we're going to get a bunch of family out to the Turkey Trot this year if not running, then at least walking. It should be fun.